Anything That Doesn't Scare Us Is not Worth Doing
by Crazy Danae
Summary: He asked her for a date rather quickly… What happens? Spoilers within. Rated T for language. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**Summary**: He asked her for a date rather quickly… What happens? _Spoilers within. _Rated T+ for language.

**Disclaimer:** Seriously… Do you think I actually own anything from "The Office"? If I did, I'd be much better off financially.

**Author's Note:** I couldn't wait until the start of next season… Here's what I dream that night will be like. I'm afraid that the PTB will take all my **_Jam_** hopes and cram them down the flusher. This is how I would see the night going, while looking through my rose colored glasses.

I also think you should know that this was nearly all written while I was in training for my new job… the current reason for my extended absence. I tried to be funny, but extreme boredom took its toll. Please be kind…

**

* * *

**

Pam looked around her tiny apartment with panic steadily rising within her. It wasn't because her place wasn't clean, but that the potential man of her dreams was going to be there in a few short hours. _What will he think of my apartment? I know it's small, but I love it… What if he doesn't?_ She wrung her hands in between plumping her pillows.

Finally, she stepped away and just went into her bedroom. It was a whirlwind of clutter, but Jim wasn't going to be allowed back there that night. Her freshly purchased outfit hung from her closet door. She'd taken off early to get it. Jim had smiled as she made her way out, which made it hard to notice anything else until she got to the store. _Thank goodness for Kelly... and I never thought I'd say that!_ It was more daring than anything she'd ever tried before, but she'd been drawn to it. The clerk and Kelly had been so complimentary, especially about the color. It helped that she'd never seen herself look better. She couldn't wait for Jim to see her in it.

This was a new chapter in her new life… one she could hardly wait to begin. It had been a long, hard road. She'd had to break out of the role that she'd nearly trapped herself in forever. And watching Jim with Karen had been almost more painful than she could bear. But the incident with Roy had cleared her eyes of anything still blinding her. Honesty was always the best policy, no matter how painful it was. It was her lack of acknowledging her feelings that had driving Jim away in the first place.

She drew herself a bath so these pre-date jitters could be soothed away. It had been so long since she'd looked forward to a date like this. As she sunk into the fragrant waters, she let herself remember how long she'd waited for this. Even before Jim had done his not-really-a-date on the roof, she'd hoped that he would tell her how he felt… given her some sort of excuse to get out of her dead-end relationship with Roy. She hadn't felt confident enough to break it off before he said something. But she should have known that he would never have been so dishonorable. Even when it had seemed that Roy was the one putting off the actual ceremony, she'd been doing her fair share of sabotage. And there'd been no real reason for her to go on and on about the preparations. If it had been a passive-aggressive way to needle Jim, she was heartily ashamed of herself. Of course, Jim had chosen two weeks before her wedding… and she'd cursed herself for her hesitation. During the months afterward, she'd wondered if she'd been testing Jim… that if he'd argued just a little more, she might have revealed that her heart was already his.

Letting the water wash away these doubts and regrets was cathartic. It made her feel like finally she was on the right path. Finally, she was doing something about her passion for art… even if Jim and Michael seemed to be the only ones to appreciate it… and she was starting to stick up for herself again, which was all to the good. As much as honesty was now her new best policy, she did know that she had to be careful. She smiled. After all, what would Dwight do if she was constantly telling him of her pranks?

She washed her hair in a haze of memories. Images of Jim's smile were mirrored on her face. She could hear his laugh as if he were right beside her. She had watched him for so long that she didn't even have to struggle to pull up his image. He wasn't necessarily the most handsome man she ever met, but looks were only a small portion of his charm. Everyone that met him seemed to like him. Dwight might even like him if Jim could just stop harassing him daily and Dwight didn't view him as competition. They even made a good team. One had a major portion of the charm while the other contained all the enthusiasm and intensity. She laughed and knew it was time to get dressed if she was allowing herself to even _think_ about Dwight!

She gasped when her eyes landed on the clock. She only had thirty minutes before Jim got there and she still had to dry her hair. Quickly, she dried off and lotioned up. She couldn't even pause for her usual moment to appreciate the lotion's light fragrance. Thankfully, she knew exactly where everything was for once. She smoothed on her clothes and rushed into her bathroom. Never before had she so blessed her "less is more" attitude toward make-up. But she did carefully follow Kelly's instructions for the proper application of eye liner.

Finally, she addressed her hair. It had been a real toss-up… but her outfit really called for a slick look, so straightening it was the only way. She worked carefully on her hair, but made sure that she kept an ear out for the door and an eye on the time. With the fifteen minutes she had left, she wasn't certain how _straight_ she could get it, but gentle waves would work as well. She worked steadily and efficiently, which made it impossible to daydream. When she was satisfied that she wouldn't look like a ragged and wet poodle, she set everything down and went into her room… where she was met by a stranger. She could only stare at the woman in the mirror. She had never seen herself look so sophisticated… she might even say beautiful. Her slim jeans hugged her every curve and the soft, emerald green sweater with the fairly deep V... OK, deep for her... set off her skin tone and her eyes to perfection. She felt like she was glowing with her happiness… but she didn't really look like herself. Should she be dressing like this when she really wants Jim to like her for herself? She actually turned toward her closet when the phone rang.

_Oh, Lord! It's Jim cancelling! Is this karma?!?_ Her hands were shaking as she lifted the receiver. "Hello?" She was proud of herself that her voice didn't shake with the sudden stress.

"Bitch!" a hoarse voice shouted down the line. She pulled the receiver away in defense.

"Karen?" Pam asked timidly. She had never heard such venom from the other woman.

"Who do you think it is, you fucking whore?" Pam flinched. She wanted to just hang up, but she couldn't help but feel a bit of guilt. If she hadn't said anything at the beach, it's quite possible that Jim never would have asked her out.

"Karen…"

"Shut the hell up! You sound like butter wouldn't melt in your fucking mouth but I know you for what you are! You pretend to be my friend, but the whole time you were gunning for _**my**_ boyfriend! He doesn't love you, you know. He just has a fear of commitment right now. I'll get him back!"

Pam sighed. Karen sounded really drunk. "Two things, Karen, and then I've gotta' go. Number 1, I didn't ask Jim out… He asked me. You were my friend, but you never trusted me after you found out about _**Jim's**_ feelings. Plus, he respected my relationship with Roy for _**three**_ years! I'd be a horrible person if I didn't show the same respect."

"You _**are**_ a wh…"

"Shut up! You're not thinking clearly and I don't want you embarrassed about this phone call when you sober up. Number 2, I'm sorry he hurt you… really I am. But I love him with all my heart so I can't feel as bad about the situation as you want me to. But I never thought he treated you right. He tried, heaven knows, but couldn't you tell he was keeping his true self from you the whole time?" She trailed off. Maybe she'd said too much.

Sobbing could be heard from the other woman and it broke Pam's heart. "I know… I know… I hate you for being… well, you… but it's true. I did everything I could to get Jim to love me, but he never did! Shit! I'd still be living in that damn motel if _you_ hadn't told him to stop being a jackass! It's just…"

"Karen, I know. And I'd talk to you about it some more, but I really have to go." Not only would Jim himself be there any minute, but she was about to cry herself in sympathy for the other woman's pain and that would just ruin the whole evening.

"Okay. Pam, I'm sorry…"

"So am I, Karen. Take care… please!"

"Bye…" The line went dead.

Pam heaved a heavy sigh. Now _that_ was the last thing she'd needed right then. Was it really appropriate for them to be dating so soon? Was she a rebound girl… or even worse, a oats-sowing girl?!? It was these thoughts that were interrupted by the doorbell. Suddenly Pam was afraid… but trembling legs carried her to the door. She placed her hand on the knob and took a deep breath. _Get a hold of yourself, Pam! This is what you've been dreaming of! Don't ruin it!_ Digging down, she found the strength to turn the knob.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Pick-Up**

He whirled around his apartment like a maniac, clothes and furniture twirling in his wake. _What was I thinking? I told Karen yesterday that __we__ didn't have a future in Scranton, giving her the impression that it (our relationship) was absolutely hunky dory. But it only took an old Office Olympics medal and word of encouragement from Pam to have me blowing off the interview and rushing back to Scranton… to her… Hell, I broke up with Karen over the phone… the _**phone!**_... on my way back! But what could I do?!? It's Pam!_

He'd been in this state since Pam had said yes to his dinner invitation. He didn't know why he'd asked her for that night! He hadn't had anything ready… no reservation… no plans… no outfit… Nothing! He could only assume that he'd felt such a rush because he'd been afraid she might change her mind. They'd had too many road blocks already. He'd lucked out for his and Pam's favorite… Trax. It was the one they'd first had lunch in. And his relationship with Karen had really helped out in one specific area… his wardrobe had considerably improved.

He felt a lot of guilt about the Karen situation, really. He hadn't gone into the relationship truthfully. At least he hadn't picked another Pam look-alike like Katy. But he'd picked her because she'd been meant to be his Pam-shield. Not that she'd actually protected him from anything. Having the two women in the same town only highlighted how much he'd preferred Pam to Karen. But then he'd realized that Karen deserved more of a chance… and it still hadn't worked.

He'd still tried to deny his feelings. He had fun with Karen… He'd hardly looked at Pam since Roy had attacked him. It had just never crossed his mind that Pam had cancelled her wedding because of him. He'd assumed that Roy had put it off again. Sure it bothered him… Pam _**was**_ his friend, after all… but he would have rather placed himself directly in the Call of Duty game dressed like a ballerina and equipped with a quiver of spaghetti than be the best friend comforter. But when she'd told him… When she'd stood right in front of him, looked him in the eye and told him point blank that _**he**_ was the reason she'd broken up with Roy… Well, he'd been flabbergasted. What was he supposed to do with that information? What could he possibly do with it? And was she over him now and that's why she felt she could say it? Was she saying she missed him as her friend and only wanted him back as such? And Karen was being so much more attentive and understanding… Actually, it had been a little suffocating, but she hadn't reinstated the all night talks of months prior. He probably would have just continued on with his life if Pam hadn't put that thoughtful encouragement in his application material. It had reminded him of why he'd fallen for her in the first place.

Quickly, he pulled on a dark blue cashmere sweater and some khaki slacks. He slid on his shoes and looked in the mirror. He looked pretty good, but his hair was problematic. Karen had a point when she'd mentioned how scruffy he'd gotten, but there was a reason for that. He never had to actually _spend time_ fixing his hair before. Now it was all about the hair dryer and the gel he used… which couldn't be too much because then his hair would be crusty… but not too little because then it would flop everywhere and he'd look ridiculous… which meant it took a lot longer to get ready. He couldn't wait for it to grow out.

A glance at the clock caused his heart to race. He needed to get rolling if he wanted to get there on time. Snagging his leather jacket, he jumped into his Saab and dashed off. Unlike Karen, Pam was all about timeliness. And the last thing he wanted was to be late for their first ever official date. He didn't even have to _think_ to get to her apartment. He'd never been there before, but he'd Map Quested it when he'd gotten back to Scranton and had dreamed about knocking on her door so he'd run though the route two billion times in the last six months.

As he walked up to the door, his body was torn between running toward Pam, running from Pam, and trembling like a pre-pubescent idiot… which of course caused him to trip a bit. _This is it… This is __**Pam**_, his mind played over and over again. He wasn't sure he was ready. This was worse than when she was engaged to be married… worse than when he bared his heart to her and she didn't immediately jump in his arms… worse than Michael's performances at the Dundees… But as he got closer to the door, his inner voice became less panicked and uncertain and more triumphant. Calm fell over him and he even managed a smile… his third for the afternoon. After all, his conversation with Karen hadn't left him much to smile about. He knocked.

He felt his smile grow wider as he heard her approach the door. _Here we go!_ He almost gasped as the door opened and a vision of Pam unlike he'd ever seen registered with his brain. "Holy sh… You look great!" He blushed slightly. It was not an auspicious beginning if he was going to start swearing like a sailor.

A blush stained her pale… too pale… cheeks and she smiled. "Thanks! You're not so bad yourself!"

But her overt flirting and humor didn't distract him… too much. "Pam? You okay?" He wasn't prepared when she threw herself into his arms, squeezing tight. Something had happened… but at least she wasn't crying. But she'd seemed so happy when she'd left. What had happened in the intervening hours? "Pam… Talk to me…"

She looked up at him and unshed tears shone in her eyes. "I don't want to ruin our first date!" She smiled briefly but it didn't reach her eyes.

He ushered her into the apartment and sat her down on the couch. He held her hand and tried not to stare at his surroundings. He was desperate to see where she lived, but it was more important to comfort Pam if they were to have their date. "Pam?"

She looked at him seriously with those sad eyes of hers. "Karen called…" She looked away.

_Shit!_ "I don't know what she said…" He could only imagine what she said. Did she try and submarine him? Was this over before it officially began?

She smiled softly and placed her hand on his knee. He stilled instantly. Suddenly, he couldn't breathe… couldn't think… The world had stopped and he was held in place by her gentle touch. Any anger and frustration he might have felt with Karen melted away. "It was fine, Jim. She was angry, but who wouldn't be? I wrecked your relationship."

The world rushed back in with a healthy dose of indignation. "You didn't wreck anything!"

"But if I hadn't opened my big mouth at the beach…"

Jim sighed. If she hadn't said anything, he might have blindly gone on with life… He knew his tendency to follow the path of least resistance. Maybe he might have even allowed her to manipulate him into marriage. And he'd liked Karen… but she was so high maintenance. How often had he given in just to get some rest?

As time passed, Pam's face had become more and more somber. She moved her hand and pulled away from him. "Did you just want to get out of the relationship and I was the handiest way?"

He could only gape at her for a moment. "No! Lord, no!" Her head snapped up with his outburst and the hidden hope inside made him want to weep. He held her hands gently. If he was ever going to be totally serious with her, he needed to at least do it now. "I've been dreaming about this forever… even when I was with Karen and Katy… It's always been about you. I've tried to shut you out, but it never works. My heart has always known what it wants… and it's always been you."

He gulped hard and watched her for any reaction. This was worse than Casino Night. He obviously hadn't been drinking. There was no escape route. If she turned him down now, he didn't know where he would run. "Well, that was really deep, Mr. Halpert. I don't have a response to that."

_Perfect... as always..._ She always seemed to know just what to say... well, most of the time. "Well, Miss Beesly, this time I'm not demanding a response. After all, I already know you'd die without me…" He smirked. He'd always felt more comfortable with banter rather than any serious moments. It had been one of the reasons that his feelings hadn't come out right away.

She giggled lightly and made to move, but he wasn't ready for that yet. He tugged her back to the sofa. He would have loved her on his lap, but this was a new situation for them and now was too soon for those sorts of shenanigans. "Would you like something to drink?" She didn't make any move to get up again if he actually did want a drink, so he knew it was the small-talk portion of the evening.

"No thanks. We've gotta' be at the restaurant soon…"

"Holy crap! It's just… I can't believe… Are we really doing this? I mean…" She cuddled up to him and he choked back a contented sigh. "You know, I wouldn't mind just skipping dinner…" Her stomach growled loudly in protest and she blushed hotly.

_And that's it for small-talk. Fantastic! _Jim laughed and tugged her to her feet. _This_ was why he'd loved this woman nearly from the moment he met her. "Come on, let's go. I wouldn't want that monster you call a stomach to eat you from the inside out…" Her answering smile was all he needed. Maybe there had been some ugliness in the beginning, but if they could always make the other smile, all would be well.


	3. Chapter 3

**"Kinda' Sounds Like Prison is Better than Dunder-Mifflin"**

Pam was still giggling as Jim led her to the front. She was still so happy that they were finally going out and his worry about Karen's call was such a soothing balm. This was why she'd always considered him her best friend… It was like he could read her mind sometimes. His nearness made her tremble and she was sure he could feel it. She took her time locking her apartment and took a couple of deep breaths. She wanted to laugh at herself. She hadn't been this nervous and giddy about a date since her first one... with Roy... at 15.

When she turned, she was surprised that Jim was still beside her. Even when she and Roy had first started dating, he'd bolt to the car and wait for her there. She smiled up at him and took his proffered hand. She nearly sighed with content when he secured her hand on his arm. _There's no need to compare Roy and Jim. Roy never had a chance to measure up._

As he opened her car door, she found herself acting without thinking. She stood on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He stood stock still and she moved to take her seat. "What was that for?" he choked. She was glad to see he was more shocked and bemused than upset or angry.

She smiled at him. "Just for being you, I guess," she said softly and took her seat. She didn't know what she might do if Jim kissed her later that evening. There would probably be no guarantee to her behavior. Her lips still tingled where they'd pressed against his freshly shaved cheek. Was it because she'd been longing for him for the better part of the year? Probably, but her heart was still racing a bit.

She didn't have to wait long for him to join her in the car. She breathed in the Jim scent and snuggled deeper in the seat. She felt safe and welcome in his car, which seemed bizarre but wholly right. "Don't forget to buckle up, hot rod," he teased her lightly.

She smiled and locked herself in. Before she could tuck her hand in her lap and around her purse again, he snagged her left hand in his right, entwining their fingers. "Were you planning on driving tonight? You might want a free hand there…"

He looked at her with his mock outraged innocence stare. "I will have you know, Miss Beesly, that I have skillz!" With her fingers still securely entwined in his, he extended his long fingers and popped the car in reverse. She might have been amused and amazed at his one handed driving, but all of her attention had focused in on those long elegant fingers.

_Artist fingers_, her mind provided as her hormones raged with images of those long fingers on her skin. There was nothing soft or feminine about them. She was glad to notice that they were neatly trimmed and didn't have the air of a nail biter around them. She could practically feel them dancing along her form while his actual hand was mostly still.

"Pam…?" Her name sounded louder than usual and she was fairly certain he'd said it more than once.

She shook her head. "Um, yeah" She could feel herself blushing under his gaze and couldn't meet his eyes.

"Falling asleep on me, Beesly?" His lips curved in a smile and she could tell that he was refraining from laughing at her only because they were on this date.

"I didn't… I mean… Well, a lot has gone on today. I can hardly focus…"

"So you're telling me that it's _not_ me…"

"I wouldn't say that, Halpert…" She quirked a teasing brow his way.

He laughed and her heart swelled. She hadn't heard this laugh… the patented _Jim_ laugh… in months. He had really liked Karen… she _knew_ that... but she had also been able to tell he hadn't letting her all the way in. She hadn't really felt bad about that because it felt like that hidden part had belonged to her.

Thoughts of Karen were making her sad again, so she firmly shut the door on them. This was about Pam and Jim… and she didn't need to feel bad because she was so happy. She leaned back in her seat and turned toward Jim. He was starting to relax and she was glad to see it.

"So, umm, how was the rest of work?" Jim tried to look innocent, but Pam could tell he was teasing. After all, he _had_ seen her and Kelly leave. Unfortunately, it didn't stop her blush. He stopped at a light and stared. "Lord, I love it when you do that…"

"Jim!" she gasped and they grinned at each other. "Well, I didn't have to worry, I guess. I took the afternoon off."

"Oh, Dwight must have _loved_ that."

"It was his idea…" Pam smiled as she felt the car jerk a little with his surprise. She had _known_ he was going to respond like that.

"Had a little Dwight-dezvous, huh?"

Pam nearly choked as she tried to swallow down her laughter. She _loved_ how Jim could turn a phrase. "Well, I do have to make sure all my bases are covered… and Dwight _is_ an eligible match…"

Neither could help it and broke into peals of laughter. That took them all the way to the restaurant. Jim skillfully maneuvered the car into a spot and Pam looked up… and quickly stared at Jim in shock… before her eyes started to well up. She tried to gather herself as Jim came to open her door, but didn't quite manage it successfully.

"What's wrong?" he asked as he helped her to her feet. Her eyes stayed glued to the sign and he followed her gaze. I hope this is okay… I know Trax isn't fancy, but… I didn't think… If you don't want to…"

She shut him up with another kiss to the cheek. He was so shocked that he didn't seem able to do anything but put his arms around her. She broke it off and laid her head on his shoulder. "Thank you," she whispered into his ear. "I can't believe you remembered…"

He hugged her fiercely. "I remember everything," he said and he planted a kiss at her temple. They stayed locked in that position until Pam's stomach growled again. "That's a demanding stomach you have there, Beesly."

She laughed and broke away. "Don't you know you should always keep The Beast full?" She headed toward the restaurant but was brought to a halt as Jim captured her hand again. "Come on, Halpert. Feed me!"

He laughed and started moving. "I'm glad you're hungry. I hate girls who pretend they're never hungry so I won't 'worry' about them gaining a pound or two."

"Well, you won't have to worry about that with Pam," an unwelcome voice sounded from the shadows. "She's always gorgeous."

She didn't want to look, but her eyes moved of their own accord. She stepped protectively in front of Jim with their joined hands at the small of her back. He stepped out of the shadows and the light glinted off greasy, sandy blonde hair. "Roy…"


	4. Chapter 4

"**Here, Have Some Nickels…"**

_Did she just say…? Shit!_ Jim looked at Roy with extreme distaste. The last time he'd seen the ex-warehouse guy he'd been sucker punched. He knew that he might not have triumphed if it had gone on longer, but he might have been able to get a few good licks of his own in. He could feel his body tensing for the inevitable conflict, but he didn't want to start anything on his first date with Pam. Of course, it didn't help that Pam had his hand in a death grip and pinned against her back. He wasn't going to be able to actually doing anything really manly without ripping his hand from hers… and he definitely wasn't prepared to do that. He nodded at the larger man. "Roy."

"Halpert."

"Roy, what are you doing here? You look awful!" Pam sounded both shocked and horrified at his appearance. Jim took a moment to really assess his adversary. Bags hung under his bloodshot eyes. He looked gaunt and sallow… as if he'd suddenly lost fifty pounds. It was like he'd aged thirty years in the months since his dismissal from Dunder-Mifflin and thwarted assault.

"Don't worry, Pammy. This was totally an accident. I'm not following you or anything." Roy's eyes stayed glued to Pam, who cringed slightly back against Jim at the thought of Roy stalking her. Jim glowered. "You look really happy. I'm glad."

"But… You look ill!" Jim couldn't see her face but knew that she was close to losing it.

"Things haven't been great for me after losing you, Pammy, but I'm all right. It's just… I've had a rough couple of days, that's all."

Jim looked narrowly at Roy and suddenly knew that he was lying. He sighed. _Just what I need!_ "Hey, man. You look like you've been stranded here. Do you need a ride home?"

Roy looked at him in shock and Pam squeezed his hand in gratitude. He may feel like a schmuck, but he knew Pam wouldn't be able to enjoy herself if they didn't do something. "Thanks, man. But I wouldn't want to interrupt your…" He looked at them doubtfully. With their history, Jim really couldn't blame him for not automatically realizing the truth.

"Date," Pam finished for him. Roy winced a little, but nodded.

_Why not? It seems like all our exes are going to make an appearance tonight._ "It's okay, man. It's not like I had to get reservations for Trax or anything…" _Although I did just to make sure we got a table right away._

Roy looked at him with a knowing look and shook his head. "Thanks, man. But, uh… I have a buddy picking me up around the corner. Ya'll go eat."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely, Pammy. Have a nice night." He started walking away.

_Shit!_ "Pam, I'll be right back." He wondered what exactly was wrong with him… Here he had the woman of his dream waiting to continue their date, but he had to do something… He would never forgive himself if he let himself let Roy walk away with this suspicion brewing in his mind.

"Jim…"

"I'll be okay. It's just… I just remembered that Michael had asked me to check up on Roy and since I didn't know how to get a hold of him…" It sounded lame, but it was the best he could do. Roy was lying and his conscience wouldn't let it go.

Pam reluctantly loosened her death grip on his hand. "I'll wait right here."

"Oh, you can go inside. This'll only take a second."

Her mutinous face made an appearance and he thought she'd never looked more beautiful. "I'm staying right here."

He kissed her cheek and gave her a wink. "Be right back." _Idiot! If he beats the snot out of you when you're out of Pam's sight, you only have your self to blame!_ He jogged up to Roy before he disappeared around the corner. "Um, hey man. Do you need some cash for a taxi?"

Roy looked at him in surprise. "I said I was meeting…"

Jim waived him off. "I know what you _said_, but do you need some cash for a taxi?"

Jim held Roy's gaze until the other man looked away in discomfort. "Trying to play the hero for Pammy? Taking care of her loser ex?"

Jim laughed which may have startled Roy even more than him voluntarily interrupting his date to talk with his date's ex. "I told her Michael wanted me to check up with you." Roy's laugh sounded rusty and definitely unused. "Seriously, though. You look like hell. Are you going to be okay?"

He shrugged. "I'll be all right… eventually. It's just… Things haven't been going my way lately. I've got no real marketable skills and getting fired from your last job because you assaulted a co-worker doesn't give future employers the warm fuzzies, ya' know?"

"I'm sure… Hey, look. Take a twenty. That should get you home." It was really disturbing to look at Roy in this state. He may have never liked him, but this… This was just sad.

The larger man quickly took the money and shoved it in his pocket. "Thanks." He started to walk into the shadows, his shoulders slumped. His entire torso was hidden when he stopped. "Sorry about hitting you, man. Just… Just take care of her. She deserves… better." With that, he was gone.

Jim stood there for a moment in shock. He hadn't expected that… neither the apology nor the acknowledgement that Pam deserved better. He hadn't expected that kind of self-awareness from Roy. He shook his head. It was certainly an evening of surprises... He made his way back to Pam, who was in the exact same spot, true to her word. She was smiling sweetly at him and tucked herself close as soon as he reached her side. "That was really nice of you."

"Doing what Michael asked but a few months late? Yeah, I'm a real gem."

She smiled. "No. Giving him that money…"

He looked at her in surprise. "How'd you…?"

She laughed. "A bunch of things. First – Roy freaked Michael out so badly that Michael's been pretending he doesn't exist. Second, you're not very sneaky and I saw you pull out your wallet."

Jim was embarrassed. He hadn't meant for Pam to know. "Miss Beesly, were you looking at my butt?"

"Always."

Jim blushed. He didn't really know what to do there. He hadn't wanted Roy to look bad and he definitely didn't want Pam thinking he did it for glory. But he fell back on his old standby… humor. "Why, Pam Beesly! You've been holding out on me."

She giggled and tugged him toward the restaurant. "If you feed me, I'll tell you what happened while you were at your interview…"

He laughed and dragged her into the restaurant, which was fairly crowded with the Friday night crowd. He tucked her close to his side and draped his arm around her waist. The harried hostess looked at them expectantly. "Hi, I called earlier and made a reservation for two for Halpert?"

She smiled at him and he could feel Pam stiffen. He had to choke back a laugh. Who would have guessed that Pam was such a jealous thing? "We've been holding your table for you, but I'm so glad you're prompt." She motioned for them to follow her and sashayed toward one of the few empty tables… right by the window. "You wouldn't believe the people who were cranky because they could _see_ an empty table, but it was reserved…"

"Oh, I'm sorry if this was putting you out…"

"No, honey. _You're_ fine. I just don't know why they think they could go about demanding tables on a busy Friday night. I don't care if his last name is Schrute!"

Pam's eyes met his and danced. _What luck! Talk about dinner theater!_ "Is he still here?"

The hostess rolled her eyes and pouted. "He and his girlfriend went to complain to my manager. But what was I supposed to do? You had a reservation!"

He looked at Pam and she nodded to his unspoken question. "We feel really bad about putting you in such a hard place. If they're willing, we wouldn't mind sharing our table."

The relief on the hostess's face shone out. "Would you really…? That would be great! I'll go and tell my manager!" She practically bolted to the back.

"You do know that we've just _volunteered_ to spend a couple of hours on our date with Dwight and An…" Pam broke off with a blush.

A light turned on for Jim. "You know about Angela?!? How???"

"You too?!?" She started to giggle. "Remember your barbeque?"

"Are you serious? I only found out the day Roy…"

Pam blushed at the reminder but pushed on… considering they'd already seen him that night. There had been way too much time for her to still be embarrassed because of Roy's actions. "Oh, is _that_ why you stopped trying to repay… Dwight! Hi!"

Jim turned just in time to see the horrified looks on Dwight and Angela's faces. "Hi, you guys! When we heard that our reservation had gotten in the way of your dinner, we just knew that we had to invite you to join us."

Dwight glowered. "What are you two doing here? Won't Karen be mad?"

Jim didn't know how he kept the pleasant smile on his face. "We broke up. Pam and I are on a date."

"So soon?" Angela sneered.

Pam laughed and Jim could feel his heart lift. The last thing he wanted was for Pam to be upset by stupid Dwight and Angela. The plan was to tease Angela and Dwight… not allow them to be the harassers. "It's not really that soon. We've been friends forever and _finally_ we're both free at the same time. Why wait?"

"Aren't you afraid of what Corporate will say?"

Jim waived away the question. "Dwight… Angela… sit please! It's so hard to maintain a proper conversation with people towering over you." He let the other couple sit before grabbing Pam's hand. "We filled out the paperwork this afternoon."

Pam smiled. "Oh, yes. I didn't want to deal with the same whispers we got when we were just friends… and I don't really mind everyone knowing." She turned her smile on the others. "I mean, look at you two…"

Angela's eyes grew round and Dwight looked even crabbier… if that was possible. "What about us?!?"

Jim grinned like the Cheshire Cat. Oh, this was more fun than he could have imagined. "Well, here you are… People may think you're out on a date, but you're office friends!"

"Office friends…" Angela echoed weakly.

"Oh course!" Pam said, patting Angela's hand with her won. "You think we haven't noticed?"

Now even Dwight seemed a bit panicky. "Noticed? Noticed what?"

"Oh, all the time you two spend in the office together. The support you show each other…" Jim couldn't help but dig in a little. "I mean, I would have thought something was 'going on,' but I know both of you adhere strictly to the rules, so we would obviously know if there was something else… Plus I just have a hard time imagining the two of you together."

"Can I get all of you something to drink?"

Angela's response was immediate. "A white Russian… and keep them coming."

Dwight wasn't far behind. "Three fingers of scotch with no ice."

Jim chuckled. If this hadn't already been worth the trouble of having them join their date, he didn't know what else could have made it better… "Well, I'm driving so I'll just have water."

"Raspberry lemonade, please."

Jim looked at her in surprise. "You don't have to abstain just because I am."

"Oh, I don't want anything to spoil tonight," she smiled. The waiter gave a little nod and moved to fill their order, but Jim hardly noticed. It hit him again that he was out… _on a date… __WITH PAM!_ It was all of his best dreams pushed together. He could feel himself drawn forward toward Pam.

"Pinch me," he whispered.

Her eyes flickered to his lips and her tongue moistened her own. "You don't need me to," she murmured, her lips a hair's breath away from his own, "unless you often dream of Dwight and Angela…"

He moved back with a smile and noticed the mischievous light in her eyes. "I'm going to get you for that later, Ms. Beesly."

"I'm soooo scared!"

Angela cleared her throat and Jim winced at the vulnerability he could see on her face. _Maybe we shouldn't have teased them so hard…_

"So you two aren't worried about the embarrassment if you crash and burn?" she asked, trying to make her words seem critical and disapproving but Jim could hear the plea for information.

Pam laughed lightly and leaned against Jim. "More embarrassing than telling everyone that I broke off my engagement because of him in front of Michael and his current girlfriend?

"Or more embarrassed when everyone knows about your feelings to an engaged woman?" Jim winced at the memory.

"I suppose you _have_ been indiscrete in your historical relationship," Dwight said pompously. "But I know some who enjoy the danger of an unsanctioned office relationship."

Pam looked at him and frowned. "I suppose that's true, but why would you want to hide the joy you've found with someone else? I mean, hypothetically."

Angela and Dwight looked at each other in discomfort… and Jim felt like they'd given the hidden couple enough to think about for one evening. Who knew if Dwight's head might actually explode with all that thought… "So, Dwight… How's the beet crop this season?" Pam caught his eye and nodded. He knew he had a partner in keeping the conversation light for the rest of dinner… like she always had been his partner. _I am such a lucky bastard._

**_

* * *

_**_I've been trying to cut back on my Author's notes, but I just wanted to thank each and every one of you that have been so kind with your feedback. You're the reason why I love writing fan fiction!_


	5. Chapter 5

"**Finally, I Want to Thank God. Because God Gave Me This Dundee. And I Feel God at This Chili's Tonight…"**

She hadn't thought dinner would pass as smoothly as it did. But apparently a few drinks really mellowed Angela and lowered her guard. Pam had known she could like Angela if ever given the chance, but she was usually so crabby and cutting all the time. And Dwight was so depressed about his meteoric rise and then fall from power that even Jim didn't have the heart to tease him too much.

After dinner, they helped Dwight get Angela to his car. Pam looked at Dwight's slumped shoulders and sighed. She gave him a quick hug. "Pam!" Dwight gasped and she laughed.

"Don't worry, Dwight. I don't mean anything inappropriate… but I'm sure your day will come."

He looked at her somberly for a moment and nodded. She received a rare smile and pat on the shoulder before he too got in his car.

"Drive safely," Jim called as they pulled out of the parking lot. Turning to her, he finally let his surprise show. "Now what was _that_ all about?"

Pam laughed. "I just feel bad for him. He had been so excited when he thought he had Michael's job. It just doesn't seem fair somehow…"

He smiled. "You're sweet, but he was practically making love to you in the parking lot!"

They laughed together for a minute so hard that Pam had to lean against a car. "Step away from the car… Step _away_ from the car!" She laughed even harder and it took Jim's helping hand before she could move and the car could relax.

"Well, you know I am one sexy girl," she gasped as her giggles subsided.

He tugged her back into his chest and she let her head fall back. "You certainly are," he murmured and lowered his lips to her exposed neck.

"Jim," she moaned while shivers of delight ran the length of her body. She couldn't believe how she was reacting to his lightest touch. She didn't want to embarrass both of them by attacking him in a parking lot, but she didn't seem to have the strength to move away.

"If you two kids don't get the hell away from my ca… Pam! Jim! What a wonderful surprise! When did you two decided to '_get it on_'?!? And Jim! Aren't you cheating on the luscious Karen? You horn dog!"

Her heart sank and she could feel Jim stiffen beside her. "Shit!"

"Did you tell _everyone_ where you were taking me tonight?" she growled softly. She wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. All she really wanted was some alone time with Jim and Fate seemed to be conspiring against them. But she really couldn't afford to alienate Michael… no matter how hard she tried sometimes. She turned, but Jim wasn't letting go. She allowed the comfort of his presence help her show their boss her serene face. "Hi, Michael. Sorry I bumped your car."

"Pam… Pam… Pamelama ding dong! It's fine… fine!!! I understand that you and Jim kinda' lost control after giving in… finally… to your passions." He tried to smile coyly but it just came across as a leer. "That's how Jan and I got together… She just couldn't keep her hands off me."

"Michael," Jim tried to interrupt but it was like Michael was totally in his own little world… as usual. And it looked like he'd been tossing his favorite girly drink back with ever increasing frequency.

"I mean, she's hot enough, but I should have known she was way too desperate." He groaned. "I should have known. And now she's in my condo and I'm not absolutely certain she's ever planning on leaving _or_ getting another job. _And_ getting back involved with her might even be hurting my position in the company!"

"Michael!" Jim practically shouted.

"What?!?" Michael shouted back, snapping back again to the present. He looked at Jim's inpatient face and actually had the grace to blush. "Oh, sure… Sorry. But Pam, if I'd known you'd date guys in relationships, I woulda'…"

"Michael!!!" Pam could actually feel Jim's anger radiating from him and blushed hotly. Was that how everyone was going to see her now? As a sort of morally loose woman? Maybe they'd think that she dumped Roy and showed her interest in Jim only because he'd gotten his first promotion and was applying for another. Misery began to engulf her.

Michael was actually paling a little as he stared at Jim. "I was just kidding…" He tried to brush off the situation, but nobody was falling for it. He started swiveling his head… looking for an escape.

Pam sighed. Michael really didn't mean anything by it. He was like an idiot savant… Absolutely inept in most social arenas but an absolute whiz when it came to sales. "So, Michael… Are you here with Jan?"

If possible, he paled even further, but tried to smile. "Oh, I had to work late… You know how much work can pile up when I'm out for a day or two…" She wanted to laugh. Dwight had been _very_ effective and efficient during his term in power and she knew for a fact that Michael didn't have anything to do to keep him _that_ long at work. "Plus, Jan's moving everything around in the condo… and deciding what I get to keep and what has to make room for her stuff."

_Oh dear… She's moving in? No wonder Michael looks so miserable!_ Pam was sympathetic, but not overly so. After all, he _had_ just gotten back together with her because she'd gotten implants.

"We need to go, Michael. See you on Monday." Jim started moving before he even stopped speaking… dragging Pam along behind. Pam guessed that at least she should be grateful that he was trying to be civil.

"Bye, you guys! Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Pam turned and giggled a little while watching Michael wave like he was never going to see them again. She waved a little, but didn't have a lot of time to be courteous.

Jim didn't pause until he reached his car and Pam found she was slightly out of breath when he stopped. "Simpering jackass! Why do I put up with him?"

"Jim! What the hell was that all about?" She pulled her hand from his and planted fists on her hips.

"He shouldn't have said that to you! Stupid little smarmy jackass!" He wasn't even looking at her but staring after Michael with murder in his eyes.

"Jim, seriously," she smiled slightly, "where'd you snag that temper from?" It was heart warming to see him so concerned about her reputation… and relieved some of the angst she felt with Michael's unthinking bluntness. She sighed. "I should have known _someone_ was going to say it. You did leave yesterday to spend time in the City with your girlfriend and now you're out with me. I must look like such a desperate bitch!" She could feel herself shaking. Everything was so stacked against them!

He pulled her into her arms and leaned against her car. She let her sense of him surround and comfort her. They may be torn apart soon, so she needed to store up all these little moments. His hand caressed her hair and she had to restrain herself from pressing into it. "Pam, don't worry. Anyone that knows you would _never_ think that. Michael's an idiot. Why would he say that?!?"

She sighed again but was glad that she wasn't actually crying. "Michael usually just says what's already out there… He just doesn't have a filter."

"I'll permanently install one if I have to," he growled. "Did he think he was being funny?"

"You know it gets worse when he's upset! Losing the promotion and Jan moving in is totally freaking him out."

"But…"

"And you've never really gotten upset before when he was inappropriate to me…"

"I would have…"

"So why would he think you were going to get so upset?"

Jim sighed and she could feel the anger drain out of him. Pam smiled against his chest. "Why do we work there again?"

She looked up at him and gave a half-smile. "Let's think of it this way… If we didn't work there, we never would have met…"

He returned her smile and kissed her forehead. "Now _that_ would be a crime against nature."

Her heart lifted. This was worth it. All the pain, embarrassment, and discomfort was worth it if she ended up with him. They stayed silent for a moment. Finally, she broke it. "So what do you have planned now?"

His eyes twinkled down at her. "What makes you think I have _anything_ planned?"

She tilted her head back and laughed. "Jim, you _always_ have something planned."

"You think you know me sooooo well."

She smiled. "I do."

"Well, get in, Ms. Beesly. Let's see if I can't surprise you…"

She let him guide her into the car with a smile. Even when he was going around to his side, she made the smile stay. How could she let him know that she was still upset about what people might say? It was bad enough that she was going to have to see Karen on Monday. Maybe she should just find another job… but then she wouldn't get to see Jim all day…

"Are you okay?" His voice startled her so badly that she actually squeaked. He laughed. "Didn't mean to scare you there…"

She blushed and tried to laugh as well. "Oh, you know… Just thinkin'…"

He sobered and looked at her intently. "Pam, I'll let them all know I broke up with Karen before we went out on our date… I'll look like the jackass… not you… But I don't understand… You were okay when Angela and Dwight brought it up…"

"That's Angela and Dwight. _They're_ crazy. When Michael said it… Well, it just feels like more people will think that way." She sighed. "It was always going to end up like this… One of us was going to look like a jerk. If it wasn't me and Roy, it was you and Karen…"

He grasped her hand and let his thumb caress the back of it. "But we've finally made it. Should we let what other's think keep us apart? And how long would we allow that?" He kissed her hand. "I don't want to wait for the idiots. Don't tell me my little fire walker is afraid…"

She laughed. How could she be worried if he was at her side? "You're right… I suppose. Maybe I'm just being silly…"

"I like you silly. It makes me seem mature…"

She laughed and he started the car. She leaned over and laid her head on his shoulder. It had been horrible to be so alienated from him while he was dating Karen… and now things seemed better than ever. She didn't want to let the possible negatives ruin her chances…

"Close your eyes…" His voice startled her, but she had to just laugh.

"I don't think so…"

"Aw! Come on!" His voice took on that wheedling, little boy tone that she loved… and couldn't resist. "Don't you trust me?"

"OK, fine…" She closed her eyes and waited. Jim didn't waste any time in getting to his destination. A right, two lefts, three rights, five lefts, and a roundabout left her feeling disoriented but a little giddy with excitement. He parked the car and she could feel a small breeze and knew he was waving his hand in front of her face. She smiled.

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Two."

"You're peaking!"

She laughed. "Jim, you _always_ hold up two fingers!"

"Oh," he said and she could feel him blushing. "Wait here." She heard him leave the car and practically sprinted around to her door. "Ready?"

"When do I get to open my eyes?"

"In a bit…"

"Jim…"

"When we sit down, okay?"

"So we're sitting… going some place where I get to sit." She let him pull her out of the car and guide her steps. "Well, we've already eaten, so it can't be a restaurant… And I smell popcorn…" He laughed. "So we're at a movie theater. But with the popcorn smell, you had to know I would know that…" She smiled. "So, it's not so much about the destination…"

"Okay, Sherlock. Knock it off. Do you want some popcorn?"

"No thanks. I'm still full from dinner thirty minutes ago."

He laughed. "Okay, let's just go in…"

She'd loved the movies since she was a little girl. There was just something about being able to escape any problem and spend hours with people whose lives revolved around entertaining you… Most people thought that she liked drama and artsy films. But the secret she held close was her love of musicals. She'd never told anyone. Even Jim seemed to think she mainly liked comedies. She sunk into a high back chair that leaned back and smiled. "Can I open my eyes now?"

She felt the arm rest to her left being lifted and Jim pulled her close to his side. She laid her head on his shoulder again. "Are you sure you want to?"

She laughed, but kept her eyes closed. "If I don't open my eyes, you've wasted your money…"

"Ah, but the chance to cuddle with you in a dark room would be worth any amount of money."

"And with that, Mr. Halpert, you've lost your eye closure benefits." She opened her eyes and looked around. It was a lovely, updated little theater, but she was surprised that no one else was in there. "Jim, it's Friday! Where is everyone?"

He smiled. "Called in a couple favors. What we have here is a private showing."

She was shocked. He really _had_ gone to a lot of trouble in such a short amount of time. The lights dimmed and she watched the previews through a haze of bliss. But when the first bars of the opening theme started, she looked at him in surprise and joy… "Hairspray?!?"

* * *

_**A/N:** To those that like my stuff, my sincerest apologies. Life has totally gotten away from me and I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. But I have plans… Great plans… I just gotta' get through this Christmas._

_Happy Holidays!!!_


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N:**__ I know that if you go with the mythos, the show should be "shown" a year after it was "filmed"… but I'm addicted to "Hairspray." I tell all I know and meet to go and see it… Seriously… See it! I myself have watched it nine times already… so I wanted Pam to be enthusiastic about it as well. Seriously! __Everything__ I do doesn't have to be cannon! ;D Plus, I think it's impossible to leave that movie in a bad mood… and considering Pam's worries about what people were going to think, I needed to lighten it up…_

* * *

In that moment, it didn't matter that he'd spent over two hundred dollars for this. Pam was beside herself with happiness. He had guessed… Checking her iPod the week before, he'd found the soundtrack… and found it a little odd. But some random thought… _Oh, let's be honest. You think about her all the time!_... had led him to a conclusion that he'd acted on. He hadn't been that enthusiastic beyond seeing what Pam's reaction would be, but suddenly he was dancing in his seat to the upbeat music as much as Pam was. There was just something that had to be said for cheesy.

"You can't tell anyone about this," he said as they sashayed out of the theater to the beat of the credits music.

She laughed and he smiled. "I don't know. This might be just the cashola I need to get established in Schrute's Army."

_Damn, I've missed this!_ He growled in mock anger and she darted away from him. He gave her a heart beat's head start before charging after her. She made the mistake of looking behind her and squealed. He didn't know where she was planning on running to, but he was more interested in watching her. She looked so free…

He snagged her hand and tugged her to him with a thud. His eyes widened as her sudden weight knocked him back. "Didn't mean to knock you off your feet, Jim," she giggled, trying to make sure he didn't fall on his can.

He gaped at her for a few moments. The chase had given her eyes sparkle and she was delicately flushed. But she was looking at him expectantly and he knew he had to gather his wits. _The last thing you want to do is fall to your knees and propose. __That's__ a sure-fire way to have her run screaming._ "You've always knocked me off my feet. That's why you're so dangerous!"

She giggled. "Yeah, me… dangerous… Villains had better beware."

"Super Pam… My hero!"

She whacked him on the arm and then lunged into a hug. "I've really had a great night! Best in a long time…"

His heart swelled. It had seemed for a long time that had been his purpose in life. Most of his pranks were to make her smile… and relieve his boredom… but mostly for her smile. When he'd given up, he felt like he'd given up that joy… especially since no one seemed to understand him anyway. He didn't want this night to end. It might not have been perfect, but they'd been together!

He tried to rack his brain for something else to do. His hormones were making plenty of suggestions, but he wanted this to be right. _But it's Scranton._ He liked it well enough, but the only things open late were bars… and his honorable intentions would go entirely out the window if he got blasted.

A jaw cracking yawn from Pam decided him. "Let me get you home. You look like you're gonna' drop from exhaustion…"

"How gallant of you," she giggled tiredly as he guided her to his car. "Don't you know that you should never tell a woman she looks like a worn-out, old hag?"

"Ah, yes," he deadpanned. "I'm a scurvy scoundrel and should be flogged…"

"Flogged?" she chortled, leaning heavily against him. "Either you majored in ancient history or…"

"Or?" He paused at his car and opened the door.

Her eyes twinkled up at him as she sat down. "You have an S & M streak a mile wide."

He twitched in shock and the door almost slammed shut. He stood there a moment with his mind raging. Never before had he ever considered the S & M angle… and he couldn't _believe_ Pam brought it up. After all, he knew she wasn't some weird vestal virgin… but that kind of knowledge seemed alien to her usual innocence. Even more than that, though, his mind kept conjuring pictures of her in a dominatrix outfit and it was extremely hot. He made his way to the driver's side. He was glad he would be sitting because it hid his problem. _Think of something else… Margaret Thatcher… Hilary Clinton… Rodney Dangerfield…_

"Jim, are you alright?" she asked innocently.

He blushed when he realized he hadn't even started the car in his effort to distract himself from inappropriate images. He cleared his throat and started the car. "I'm fine," he squeaked… and cleared his throat again. "Fine." He could feel her disbelieving smile as he stared toward his house.

She giggled. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

_Oh, __that's__ the way she wants to play this._ "I'm only uncomfortable if you don't plan on following through."

She gasped but giggled immediately thereafter as she slapped his shoulder. "I suppose it depends on if you play your cards right…"

"Pam!" he gasped and had to conjure pictures of Rodney Dangerfield swimming to stop himself from pulling his car over and ravishing her completely. "You must think I'm really safe to tease me so…" He found that a little upsetting.

She sobered a little, but her smile was still saucy. "I can't believe you think I'd tease like that… I may want to take this slower… but I'm not immune…" He didn't know exactly what to think so just kept driving. He heard her undo her seatbelt and couldn't imagine what she was doing. "I've been dreaming about this for years…" He jumped as her warm breath caressed his neck before being followed by her lips.

"Don't you mean a… year?" he croaked. It was taking all of his effort to keep them on the road. She giggled and nipped his earlobe with her teeth. _Rodney Danger… Lord, that feels good… Ro… Rod… Rodney D… D… Dangerfield…_

"Jim, there's a reason beyond your initial crush that people would gossip about us."

Between driving and her lips, he was having an extremely tough time concentrating. "What?"

"Jim, you're my very best friend and I've loved you forever. I tried to convince myself that it was platonic love… But you started creeping into my fantasies and it affected everything around me. There's a reason why my mom was dying to meet you." She sighed and it seemed to burn straight through him. He tried to keep himself from breaking the sound barrier to get to her house. He wondered if he'd fallen asleep at the movies because she was saying everything he'd ever dreamed of.

"You don't have to…" His words were cut off by her hand on his mouth.

"Shhhh… I do… 'Cause I was scared. Roy was safe. I loved him, I suppose, but it was a habit since high school. And you had the power to break my heart…" She moved back to her seat.

"Pam," the sound felt like it was being torn from his soul. For a minute, she looked sad and scared… and he'd do anything to take that away.

She smiled again. "I'm being _soooo_ serious for a first date! And I didn't mean to be…"

"It's okay…"

"You _would_ say that." She grimaced a little. "I'm not helping myself here, seducing you on the road. I wanted to take this slow so we're both sure…"

"I'm sure…"

"Me too… But it's so…"

"It's not sudden…" They were quiet for a minute. Jim knew what she meant, though. There'd been a few moments when all he'd really wanted to do was throw himself at her feet and plead with her to love him because he wasn't sure if he could survive if this fell apart on him again. But he was a realist. He knew that this wasn't all going to be moonlight and roses. What if she decided that he was too risky and dumped him for someone else… someone safe…

"Don't…"

Her soft statement shocked him out of the negative cycle he'd been starting to drown in. "What?"

"You're not R… I'm not going to go running…"

He gaped at her again. He didn't believe in psychic abilities but it was almost creepy. "How did you…?"

She laughed and he was uplifted again. "I'm no mind reader, silly. But I know you… and you started getting that hopeless look on your face."

He shrugged, trying to brush it off. "It's just…"

"Yeah. Me too…"

"What?!?"

She laughed again, but it seemed a little strained. "I don't…"

"Ah, come on… Apparently we're on the 'truth or tell' part of the date…"

She sighed. "You don't seem to stick with the girls you date for very long." She laughed wryly. "At least you know that I seem to take fidelity to absurd lengths."

He laughed. She had a point… about both of them. But they were at her place, so he didn't have to take the time to really go into it. "We're here."

"Shit."

They stared at each other for a moment before Jim got out of the car. She'd taken the word right out of his mouth. She wanted to take it slow and the least he could do was respect her wishes. He helped her out of the car and walked her slowly to the door, their fingers intertwined tightly. The banter portion of the evening was definitely over. He could feel himself worrying that they were only going to get this one night… That somehow Fate or whatever was going to rip them apart because they weren't "destined" to be together.

They stopped at the door, neither daring to look at each other. He could feel her trembling and knew that he was as well. He didn't want this night to end… He was afraid that the cold light of day would burst the happiness that he'd been feeling… even though it was over now. He heard her playing with her keys at her other side and his heart sank. _She wants to go in… Shit!_ He wasn't even sure he had the nerve to try and kiss her goodnight. After all, she _did_ want to take it slow. He released her hand and let her unlock the door. He tried to absorb the information all his senses were feeding him. After all, he didn't think he was going to be getting much sleep that night… but if he did, his dreams would be filled with her. She looked at him with those big eyes of hers and he knew he had to get out of there if he was going to remain a gentleman. "Well, goodnight…"

"Do you want to come in?" she said at the same time.

"What?!?"


	7. Chapter 7

"**You Never Know What Your Day Here is Gonna Turn Into"**

"What?!?" He gaped at her and she smiled a little. _He's just so damn cute!_ She wasn't quite certain what she was thinking… asking him in after she'd just said she wanted to take it slow. Her justifying side said that she didn't want him to fall asleep on the nearly 10 mile drive to his place. But her new truthful side reminded her that she really wanted to kiss him properly and didn't want her neighbors to see.

"What?!?" he asked again.

Her nerve deserted her, but she tried to stay the course. "I… I mean, if you don't want to… I know it's late…" Her mouth went dry and she swallowed hard. It suddenly became impossible for her to meet his eyes. "I… I… didn't know if you wanted a cup of coffee… or something… before you go home…" She found herself backing away and internally groaned. She knew herself well enough that, if Jim didn't say something soon, she would close the door and spend the rest of the night crying in her bed. Her self-doubts cropped up _again_ and she wondered if she had been reading him wrong… or if her confession in the car had entirely freaked him out.

"I… um… I…"

"No… no…" she stuttered, moving back faster, her nerve _entirely_ failing her. "It's okay… It's late."

"No!" he burst out and her eyes flew up to his face. He looked entirely panicked, but his hand was reaching out to her. Relief flooded her and she smiled up at him shyly before taking a small step forward. "I'd… I'd love to come in… for a minute…" His voice sounded a little strangled.

_I'm going to have to stop being so sensitive,_ she thought wryly as she stepped inside to usher him into her home. She closed the door behind her and thought she'd caught a guilty flicker of blinds and smiled. She looked at Jim and suddenly her apartment seemed even smaller. But it definitely made her happy for him to be there. It was even better than at the beginning of the evening because he wasn't comforting her. "What can I get you? Coffee? Tea?"

"Coffee? Tea?" Jim still looked a little stunned, but was slowly coming back to normal.

"Jim?" She came up close. She was a little worried that he hadn't snapped back to normal yet. "Jim, seriously. Why don't you sit down for a minute before you fall down?"

She gently pushed him unto the sofa.

He didn't let go of her hand. "What do I want?" he asked softly. She nodded encouragingly. Before she knew what he was intending, she was sitting across his lap. "You," he said softly.

She giggled brightly and finally kissed him lightly. But that couldn't last long for either of them. One of his hands tangled up in her hair, allowing him better access and the other clasped her as close as he could manage. Her hand traced along his collar bone, playing lightly with any hair that her fingers found. All thought was beyond her ability as he nipped at her bottom lip. She moaned and his tongue darted inside.

As he licked and nipped, turning her insides completely to Jell-O, a part of her mind thanked the Powers that Be that Jim didn't kiss like Roy. For whatever reason, somehow Roy had gotten it into his head that French kissing solely consisted of sticking his tongue in her mouth and leaving it there. She'd been so disgusted, but Roy never accepted criticism of his sexual knowledge. Jim… She sighed in his mouth and that rational portion of her moaned and hid in the corner for a minute.

When they finally came up for air, she leaned her forehead on his and just sighed, "Wow!"

"Yeah, wow…" he replied with a smile. "Who knew that you'd been holding back on me?" He started kissing her neck and she was glad she was sitting or she would have collapsed entirely to the floor.

"Well, I _am_ a mystery," she moaned, tilting her neck to the side to give him better access. As his fingers crept beneath her shirt's hem, his touch set off a fire trail and she wondered if she was going to spontaneously combust. "Jim…"

His hand stilled and he leaned his forehead against her neck, breathing heavily. After a moment, he smoothed her shirt back down and leaned back. "Not really taking things slowly, am I?"

He looked so mournful that Pam tried to smooth away the frown lines with her fingers as she kissed his forehead. "I wasn't complaining…"

He laughed wryly. "Well, I'm glad… but you'd said…" They sighed together and it seemed to really lift his spirits.

"Listen… I'll make some tea and you can pop some popcorn… Unless you really would prefer to just go home…" She held her breath. She was really asking a lot of him… but she just couldn't hardly bare to let him go yet.

He smiled lightly and shrugged. "I'm guessing you want to just watch another movie?"

She blushed. "Well, I wouldn't mind watching 'Hairspray' again, but perhaps it's a little too soon."

Jim shouted with laughter and the tension that had been building fully lifted from the room. "How 'bout this? I'll pick a flick and you fix the grub."

"'K!" she chirped with a smile and retreated to the kitchen. She quickly set everything up and took a minute to compose herself. _What am I doing? How can we possibly take this slow? Why don't I just let him go home?!? Or do what we both want to do???_ It didn't seem to take very long to get everything ready and she set up a tray to bring it in.

"Here, let me help," Jim said as soon as she appeared in the room. He jumped up and took her burden.

"Thanks," she smiled. She really appreciated his gentlemanly qualities. She sat on the couch and tucked her feet under her. "What movie did you pick?"

"Well, after sorting through your pitiful collection…"

"Oy!"

"Truth hurts, doesn't it?" He smiled at her. "I thought we could just watch 'Lord of the Rings'…"

She nodded. It was set to become a classic and she'd loved the artistic filming that had been done… not to mention that it was about three hours per film, so she'd have plenty of cuddling time. "Which one?" He blushed hard. She was really fascinated by it because he so rarely _showed_ embarrassment. Then she understood and her smiled widened… if that was possible. "All of them?"

He nodded slowly. "Do you mind?"

"Oh, no… I just think we're going to run out of supplies…"

"We can make more…"

She looked around and nodded. "Well, we might as well get comfortable." She pulled the throw off her sofa and tucked it around her legs. She patted the sofa next to her and he sat down. Before he leaned back, he fixed her a cup of her favorite tea with the perfect amount of sweetener. She took a sip and gave a blissful sigh. "Thanks."

"No problem." He busied himself with looking at her other selections. "Hey, I really like that one!"

"I know…" She blushed.

He looked at her for a moment and smiled. "You know it's _your_ fault I'm a tea drinker now, right?"

"Oh, stop whining and come watch your movie." She smiled and patted the seat next to her.

It didn't take him long to get settled. He placed the popcorn on the coffee table and leaned back. Pam immediately snuggled up and his arm kept her close. She sighed in delight and tried to concentrate on the movie. But something kept niggling at her conscience. "Jim?"

"Hmmm?" He seemed engrossed in the movie and she hated bothering him, but she didn't want anything hanging over their heads.

"You don't mind, do you?" She hated that she sounded so insecure.

"Never do… Ask my mother." She smiled and nudged him. She could hear the smile in his voice, but this could be serious later on. "Mind what, honey?"

She could feel herself getting all warm and melty at the endearment, but she knew she had to pull herself together… or she wouldn't be able to live with herself. "Mind that…" She swallowed hard. "…That we're just watching a movie?"

He tugged her close and she could feel his lips in her hair. "Stop worrying about it!"

"But…"

"I understand… and really, I do agree. I hadn't meant to go so far…"

"I wanted it too but…"

"This is us… Pam and Jim… It would be best to take it slow to make sure it lasts."

"But I wanted you to stay…"

"And I wanted to stay. Sheesh! Why do you think I picked a six plus hour movie? It's the only way I'll get to make you breakfast tomorrow!"

She laughed. "If you want that, you could just go home and come back early…"

"Ah, but I'm not an early riser. What if you wake up three hours before I do? I wouldn't want you to starve before I get here…"

"I could call…"

"And I could sleep through it…"

"Well, you could just sleep on my bed and I'll take the couch…"

"Couldn't possibly do that! How could I sleep with you all cramped up out here?" He laughed a little. "Besides, I'm not sleeping in _your_ bed alone…"

"Good… 'cause my room is a nightmare!"

He laughed and she could hear it gurgling through his chest. "I can't believe you offered your room with no intention of actually following through!"

"Oh no… I would have just disappeared for an hour or so to straighten up."

"Too long. Just watch the movie…"

"Yes sir, sir sir!" she giggled and relaxed. All was well, so what did it matter?

It didn't take long before her eyelids started growing heavy. She wondered if she shouldn't just go to bed so Jim could be more comfortable. She lifted her head and noticed that he was already asleep, breathing deeply. She almost laughed, but didn't want to wake him. She decided that there was no way he could be comfortable with her draped over him so tried to slip out of his grip, but he pulled her closer and his brow started to frown.

She smiled. This was really where she wanted to be anyway. _This really was the most incredible first date._ She stretched up and placed a kiss on his cheek, making him smile. "Goodnight, Jim," she sighed and let herself drift to sleep.

Just before she couldn't remember anything else, she heard him. "'Night, Pam…"

_**

* * *

A/N:**__ And this is where I plan on ending this. If you'd like an epilogue, I'll need a huge outcry… ;D Just remember that, in following my established pattern, the epilogue would be in Jim's POV._

_I don't know if you've noticed, but I've been trying to cut down on my Author Notes, but this chapter needed a couple of asides so you might be able to understand my approach. ;D_

_As I wrote this, I had to giggle. The "Coffee? Tea?" line was used so superbly delivered by Stanley Tucci in a hardly known movie called "Undercover Blues". If you're looking for fun and cheese, I suggest picking it up… or at least renting it._

_As another aside, my description of Roy's kissing came from my second boyfriend ever… but my first kiss. Let's just say that even now the thought makes me a little nauseous._


End file.
